Look Who’s Talking

Mir Taqi Mir, disenchanted with the standard of poetry composed during his times complained,

kyaa rahaa hai MushaairoN meN ab
log kuch jam’aa aan hote haiN

What is there in poetry recitations, anymore
Some people gather, and that is it.

The National Conference of Muslims convened by Ahmed Bukhari seems to be another such exercise. Enamoured by the show of strength in the recent anti-Bush protests, all the ‘right-thinking’ Maulanas have decided to exploit the Muslims masses to their advantage, yet again. The Bukharis, lest we forget, after giving their fatwas in favour of every political party under the sun, were so much swayed by the opinion-polls that they decided to support BJP in the 2004 General Elections. It doesn’t take much for a chameleon to change colour, and with a change in the political climate of India, Ahmed Bukhari thinks it is the right time to call for a meeting of the ‘leaders’ of the faithful. In the meeting, they would try to “evolve a joint strategy for social, eduactional and economic upliftment of the minorities”. They would also try to “iron out differences and work towards the common goal of launching a joint movement for minorities’ rights”. They would deliberate upon “compensation for Gujarat riots, Constitutional amendment for restoring minority status of the Aligarh Muslim University and resolution of the Kashmir issue through dialogue”. It is not mentioned in the news release, but I am sure they would also find some time to suggest a strategy to Sourav Ganguly to come back to Indian cricket team as well as the right way to kiss to Emraan Hashmi. If you don’t want to do anything, make sure you have everything to do. Shout some generic words, throw in a couple of complaints, make a lot of loud noises, look sulked and lo-and-behold, you have the ultimate recipe for a one day conference that would herald Indian Muslims out of the darknes. And please, the last thing we need is some loud-mouthed, power-hungry clerics clamoring for the minority status of Aligarh Muslim University.

To make it more Indian or Muslim or both, they have thrown in Moulvi Omer Farooq for good measure. Since he skipped the meeting called by Manmohan Singh on the Kashmir issue, he has decided to make it up by attending another conference, and with such experts on the Kashmir problem, I am sure something positive would come out.

Now, let us try to figure out who are these people. AIMPLB (All India Muslim Personal Law Board) with which I have serious differences, but is still the most representative group of Indian Muslims has apparently decided not to associate itself with the conference. No popular Muslim politician (for whatever they are worth of) is coming to the conference. Syed Shahabuddin is certainly not coming because of his not-so-good relatioship with Ahmed Bukhari. So, we have Jamiat-e-Ulema-e-Hind chief Maulana Arshad Madni and his deputy Professor (what of?) Munis Shafi. Madni family has been given Rajya Sabha ticket by the Congress, on and off. It might be the off season these days. Deoband, the leading Islamic seminary of India has decided (well, uptill now) not to send anyone to the conference. So, we have a couple of long-named unknown clerics and/or hopeful-politicos masquerading as the saviours of Indian Muslims. It also gives a perfect opportunity to C.M. Ibrahim (remember the Amar Singh of Devegowda?) to come out of his hibernation and sound like a real politician.

I have nothing against conferences and I certainly have nothing against those who attend it. My problem with this particular conference is that it is an opportunistic brouhaha with an eye on the up-coming assembly elections. The people behind the conference are the same old rent-a-quote types who have absolutely nothing to offer. It is not even old wine in new bottle. The bottle is empty in this case.